The best gardening jokes to make you laugh


Here is a full list of my favourite gardening jokes that will make you laugh out loud. Whether you are looking for jokes for a gardening fanatic friend or family member, or maybe even for your gardener, these jokes will be sure to make them giggle.

Check here for updates as we will be regularly updating this page with more of the funniest gardening jokes appropriate for all ages. If you have a funny gardening joke that you would love to share then please comment below! I can’t wait to hear them!

Why was the cucumber mad?

Because it was in a pickle!

Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce?

His more of a rocket man!

What does everyone have on their face?


I just put an electric fence around my garden…

My neighbour is dead against it!

What part of a plant has the most friends?

The bud!

Why is the hulk such a good gardener?

He has green fingers!

What do you call a stolen yam?

A hot potato!

What did the baby corn say to the moma corn?

Where’s the popcorn?!

What did George Michael say to the gardener?

Wake me up before you hoe hoe!

What did the carrot say to the wheat?

Lettuce rest, I’m feeling beet!

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a garden?

Because the potatoes have eyes & the corn have ears!

Why did the cabbage win the race?

Because it was ahead!

I used to be terrified of gardening…

Then I grew a pear!

What runs round a garden but never moves?

A fence!

I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens…

I was raking it in!

What does the letter ‘A’ have in common with a flower?

They both have bees coming after them!

Why were the baby strawberries crying?

Because their mum & dad were in a jam!

Why did the gardener quit?

His celery wasn’t high enough!

I was really impressed with my gardener today…

He was out standing in his field!

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